Friday 13 July 2012

Win or Lose

Last night we had a big challenge.  Now by challenge, I mean a competition or "fitness challenge".  We knew it was coming but really didn't know what to expect.   We were devided into groups of 3 or 4 and given a list of exercises.  I think our group was the wackiest of the bunch and we like to joke and have a good time.  These girls really make workouts fun and I enjoy spending time with them.  We had to give our group a name and as usual we were being silly so we called ourselves the "Play Doh's" (and yes, I spelled doh right because it was in reference to the Simpsons and how we felt when hearing about the challenge)! 

Each exercise was worth a number of points.  The goal for each group was to hit 1000 points by the time our hour was over.  Here is an example of a few of the exercises:
20 shoulder presses = 5 points
100 jumping jacks = 15 points
1 minute plank = 20 points (FYI: that one really sucks!!!)
1 lap jog, run, or walk around the building = 25 points (the weather was also in the high 30's yesterday which made it worse)

Our team collectively managed to do a total of 1105 points!!  Unfortunately we didn't win because two other teams were around 1400 points (they were stronger runners so they mostly did the laps around the building over and over again).  The winning team won kitchen raids where our trainer and nutritionist will invade their kitchens and go through their cupboards.  It would have been nice to win but not everything is all about the competition.  Our team may not have won the prize but I am so proud of what we accomplished! 

Last night I finally started to see the difference in how quickly I can move now and I am definitely getting stronger and more flexible.  Over the past week or so I've started to notice some of my flexibility coming back.  One of our stretches after every workout is stretching our thigh by bending our knee and grabbing our foot from behind.  I do not have great balance yet so I still hold onto the wall but I'm okay with that.  I have progressed from grabbing the bottom of my pant leg, to grabbing the back of shoe, to the bottom edge of my shoe.  Last night, for the first time in many years, I was able to grab my ankle on both sides and even managed to do it with ease!

On top of the ability to move faster, I'm stronger.  I can lift and move things without worrying about my RA flaring like it used to.  I am also starting to feel like the old me again.  I am singing more.  I can't help but dance when I hear music.  For those who didn't know me before my illness, I used to sing and dance in public.  I was a performer and I loved it.  It was my life. 

My medical issues have caused me a lot of physical and emotional pain and until recently, even took away my ability to sing.  Just as my voice started to come back earlier this year, I got sick again, developed laryngitis and my throat had trouble healing.  This week, I've discovered that my voice is back and I think it might finally be here to stay!  I smile a lot more now and I am happy.  It has been a long time since I've been able to say for certain that "I AM HAPPY".  There has always been a "but" or a "sort of" to go along with it.  I knew this program would do me a lot of good, but the affect it has had on every aspect of my life has been such a great surprise.  Every time I look in the mirror, I start to recognize myself a little bit more as the weight comes off.  For too many years now there has been a stranger looking back at me, but now I see Laura looking back at me and she is so ready to come out of hiding!

Compeition or not, 1st place or 19th, I will come out of this a winner.

Goodnight and God bless.

Tuesday 10 July 2012

Full Speed Ahead

Well, after my last post about the struggles I've been facing, it's time to dive into an update on my training and tonight's weigh-in!

I had a very intense make up session on Friday with Adrian and two other team members.  I was so sore all weekend from it that everytime I raised my arms to reach for something or to stretch, I had no choice but to think of Adrian.  I think he does that on purpose!  I still feel some of the burn in my triceps depending on how I stretch and I have no doubt that is Adrian's fault!  Chantal also had us doing a very intensive upperbody work out on Saturday morning and I'm so glad that is over.  Doing the arms two days in a row was exhausting.

Tonight we trained with another trainer, Christie.  She kept us very busy and working as a team.  It was different, fun and a great workout.  I'm exhausted again!  But the part I was kind of dreading after last week was the weigh-in.  It went so terribly on Thursday night that I wasn't expecting much today (specially being that it was only 5 days instead of a full week).  Well, I surprised myself...

I have lost another 4 lbs since Thursday!  I am so pleased.  I really needed that extra boost and I feel great!  I have now lost a total of 19.2 lbs, which is 6.26% of my total body weight, in only 4 weeks.  This program is amazing and I know that I could never do this on my own.  Being a part of the program helps me to remain accountable and I am so grateful to my donor for giving me this chance.  I officially weigh less than I have in over a year.

We have several fun events planned for the Biggest Loser group over the next 2 weeks.  Tomorrow night is a food prep course and Thursday at training we will be separated into groups and will be having a challenge to win kitchen raids (I really could use that to get my family on track with me).  Next week on Tuesday we will have our weigh-ins and measurements and then next Wednesday we have an amazing night out in a limo to a surprise location where we will learn how to order healthy at a restaurant.  I can't wait!  I think I'd better buy a new outfit though...

Two weeks ago when we did our first trip to Green's Creek hill, I had mentioned that we took a group photo.  I finally have it so I thought I would include it tonight.  We've all come so far even since then and look different already.  I'll try to get some updated training photos of myself for a post in the near future.


Goodnight and God bless.

Where Do I Begin?

I have so much to say today that I have decided to do it in two entries.  This first entry is to fill all of you in on some of the disappointing news I received this week.  It's been a rough couple of days with my rheumatoid arthritis and I feel it is important to pour some light on that separately.

Yesterday I went to see my doctor about the fact that I have been having a lot of dizzy spells for the past 2 months.  The most concerning part is that two of them were so massive that I almost passed out and I was very scared.  My doctor is going to look into the possibility that these have been caused by my Rituxan (the chemotherapy used to treat my RA).  After doing some of my own research online, it seems as though this may be the case.  Dizziness is a potential serious side effect that can show up within weeks to months after the last infusion and requires immediate medical attention.  If this IS the case, I will likely need to start looking into new treatment options.  I have finally started to see what life can be like when a medication starts to work (after failing several other serious medications) so it will be heartbreaking and disabling to start over again.  I pray that I don't have to start back at square one but it is a very real possibility that I may lose my mobility again for months to years until we find the right medication.

The other part of all of this is that if it is not the medication (and even if it is), I may need to see a neurologist.  It puts extra strain in trying to get to where I need to be (including my training sessions and appointments if my husband is working) because I've decided not to drive for a while, but I have an amazingly supportive family who have agreed to help out whenever they can.

On top of this news, I finally got in touch with my rheumatologist today because I hadn't heard yet when my follow-up appointment would be.  Usually when you start a new medication, he will see you every 3-6 months to ensure that things are going smoothly with no major side effects or problems (and to ensure that the medication is working).  My next infusion should also be scheduled around the 6-month mark.  I last saw him in January and my infusions were in February.  Today when I called, I was informed that I didn't have an appointment booked until late January!
Needless to say, I had very disappointing news over the past couple of days.  However, I am persistent and I they managed to squeeze due to a cancellation, so I see my rheumatologist in two and a half weeks.  Now hopefully I will be able to get some answers.

After all of this negativity, I was ready for something good to happen...and it did.  A few things happened.  One of them is that as soon as I got home tonight, I had a package in the mail from the Arthritis Foundation in the states with 10 "Cure Athritis" bracelets!  They shipped to me for free and they said they would send more if I need them.  I am wearing it with great pride! 

Then biggest news is that a few weeks back, the Arthritis Society of Canada contacted me after I had met several members while working as a volunteer during our Walk to Fight Arthritis in June.  They told me that they were wanting to send out a letter to potential donors as they do every year.  They always highlight someone's story and they felt that mine needed to be told.  They asked me if I would be willing to share it and of course, I agreed.  I sent them a copy of a speech I did in April and told them that they could use any part of my story for their campaign.  This afternoon I received a phone call letting me know that their letter was complete and that they were emailing it to me to approve and make changes.  I made no changes.  It was perfect.  I couldn't believe it when I read it.  The whole letter is all about my story and how it relates to others, the national stats and how people can help those like me.  I am so moved and humbled.  If telling others my story can help to make a difference for others with arthritis, then it is worth every struggle.  I finally feel like getting this disease has happened for a reason. 

Even through all of the struggle this week, I was feeling very down but thanks to this whole journey with Biggest Loser, I have learned how to get back up again.  Not so long ago news like this would have made it hard to get back up and keep pushing.  Today when I called my mother in a good mood, she told me that she has seen a 180' change in me since I started this program.  Adrian was very smart in naming his gym 180' Fitness...

For those who are interested in reading my full story, below is the speech that I submitted to the Arthritis Society:


Imagine owning your first house; planting your gardens that first spring.  The good aches that follow, a sign that you’ve worked hard and can be proud.  Now imagine if that pain stayed…forever.

In May 2009, that’s exactly how my life was turned upside down.  In July 2009, about a week shy of my 27th birthday, I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis.  RA is an auto-immune disease caused by my immune system attacking my healthy joints.

I spent the next six months in shock and fighting to hold off depression, so that Christmas we decided to fly south to visit family, but everything went downhill.  By the time we landed in Toronto to catch our connection, I couldn’t lift my own purse.  I spent the next four weeks in the Caribbean in bed sleeping and in extreme pain.  While on vacation, my sister called to inform me that on Christmas Eve she had also been diagnosed with RA.  I will never forget that moment as I was lying painfully in bed.  At that moment, my heart hurt more than my body did.

Eight months later, after watching and knowing the signs, we were not surprised but still stunned when our father was also diagnosed with RA.  Three of us in fifteen months.  That is a lot for one family to handle and I worry every day about passing it on to my daughter.

After my trip, I began a more aggressive treatment involving weekly injections.  I responded quickly to the medication and I knew exactly what I wanted to do to celebrate the first day I felt a lot better…I picked up my three-year-old, for the first time in six months.

Unfortunately for me, the medications seem to stop working almost as quickly as they start.  Thanks to work by organizations like the Arthritis Society, I’ve been able to try several medications as there are many to choose from.  However, my medications cost over $20,000 per year.  I am blessed to still be working full-time with wonderful insurance to cover the costs, but not everyone is so lucky.

I am now 3 years into my disease and I have failed four drugs from three drug categories.  I am now on chemotherapy infusions and continue to hold out hope that they will work.  In the meantime, I have learned to swallow my pride and to ask for help.  I have learned that I’m stronger than I ever imagine I could be and that my pain threshold grows with my disease.  I’ve learned how to appreciate the little things like being able to brush my own hair or get myself dressed in the morning because I sure miss them on the days that I can’t.  But even more, I’ve learned that support – from family friends and the special people at the Arthritis Society – that is what keeps me hopeful and helps me get out of bed every day.  If we continue to work together, we will one day find a cure and I will one day be pain-free.