Crawling to the Starting Line

Rise and shine!  Our training session was at 9am this morning.  Just last night, I haven't taken that long to get up the stairs to bed (or rely so heavily on the railing) since my worst flare.  I was so sore before even getting to the fitness center this morning, it would have been the equivalent to crawling to the staring line before a race.  Not a great way to start the day and I felt like it would be a weak workout today, but boy was I wrong!  It was a great and very successful session if you ask me...

We had to run back and forth across a section of the parking lot 4 times in a row (so 8 lengths).  I jogged across and actually surprised myself as I turned around to come back and continued in a jog.  My body let me keep up that slow jog for the ENTIRE 8 lengths today!  It was a tough session which focused solely on our lower body.  Not only did I jog the 8 lengths, but I did it AGAIN towards the end of our session!  I can't believe the changes I'm already seeing.  I pushed myself today and my body let me.  I had to avoid the regular burpees because my hands couldn't take the pressure of supporting me on the down part but that was the only really big modification today which was such a small part of the workout.  My ankle and lower back were really sore by the end but I survived!

My schedule was crazy today between the early morning session, getting my daughter to a birthday party in the afternoon and then my daughter's dance recital in the evening.  My meals were good and healthy but I had terrible timing on all of them today.  I suppose sometimes that happens and you just have to move on.

One thing I can say for sure is that change is coming!  My confidence is starting to build and hopefully I will see results on Tuesday when I weigh in for the first time.  On top of that as a surprise twist to this journey, I'm seeing a positive effect on my marriage.  This gift has been a blessing in so many ways I cannot even begin to describe them all.

Another thing I know for sure is that exhausted is the new word I would use to describe myself!  So goodnight, sweet dreams and God bless.

Screaming Louder - Eating Right

Today was the first day of my new way of eating.  I was hungry today but it was only day one so I'm still finding the right combinations that work for me.  I was completely surprised by how delicious the healthy food was!  My breakfast was a fabulous combination of strawberries, Greek yogurt, organic oatmeal and pure natural maple syrup.  I mixed it all together and it was the type of breakfast where when you are done, you wish you weren't! 

Tonight we had another training session with Adrian (the owner of 180 Fitness and award winning personal trainer).  He is pretty darn amazing and SO supportive.  Without the support and understanding that Adrian provides, I'm not sure I'd be feeling the mental and physical changes so quickly.  I honestly don't think I could have possibly found a better program or trainer to get me through this.

The evening started out rough.  Adrian had us doing intervals of sprinting-walking-jogging.  On the first run I managed to jog most of the way to the end and then it became a walk.  We were to do 6 sets, I only managed 5 and walked the whole thing.  For me, even walking hurts so my walking became difficult and slow.  I felt totally defeated.

By the time we went inside to start the real workout my spirit felt broken.  Then we picked up our list of exercises.  I looked at it and my eyes began to water.  How could I possibly manage push-ups?!  My hands are still recovering from a flare (that the boxing last week caused) and my knees can't handle the pressure.  Adrian was looking in my direction as he reminded all 20 of us to push the negative thoughts out of our heads and to not let it get in our way.  We were to do 100 Push-ups, 100 Inverted Rows, 100 sitting squats, 100 sit-ups or crunches and we had only 30 minutes to complete all sets (in any order we chose).

I started with the crunches because I KNEW I could manage those.  I used to do 500 every day when I was fit!  As soon as I layed on my back, I discovered how swollen and tender my lower back was (RA also affects the back causing pain and damage to the spine) but I wasn't going to let that stop me.  I began my crunches and plowed through 40 of them.  Then I moved on to the push-ups which I moderated by standing up against the wall and I managed them easier than I expected.  That gave me the courage I needed to move on to the squats.  My knees were sore but Adrian came by and helped me position myself properly to put the least amount of pressure on them and gave me a modification (which I decided to ignore and did them the regular way)! 

Only one item left before repeating the sets...the inverted row.  As I stood there staring at the ropes, I looked back at Adrian and got the courage to speak up.  I told him there was no way my hands were going to be able handle that.  So instead of holding on to loops of rope in the ceiling, leaning back then pulling myself up, he came up with something that could work for me.  He used a tension band around a poll, I stepped far enough back while my arms were out-stretched to give extra tension and then began to pull my arms in.  That was much easier on my hands and worked the same muscles.  I completed the cycle two more times as 30 reps of everything.

I completed it all in under 20 minutes, one of the first to finish and ahead of many of the others!  I may have needed some modifications, but I blew my own expectations out of the water today.  Adrian came to me and reminded me to speak up, to let him know anytime my joints are bothering me so that he can make modifications because we "don't want to hurt" me.  It feels AMAZING to have someone who really understands my disease without the fear to push me and without pushing me to the point of damage.  He's the perfect balance.  As he explained, he knows tricks to beat anything the body throws at us.  If there is something that just won't work, he'll give me something else.  If that doesn't work, there's always another option.

As I sit here completely exhausted, I couldn't be more pleased.  Yes, my joints are sore and hot and a bit swollen.  But my muscles are what took the biggest beating today and it feels GREAT to have that "good hurt" again.  For the first time in 3 years, my muscles are screaming louder than my joints!

Goodnight and God bless.

First Day of the Rest of My Life

Well, today was the first official training session on my journey and it was brutal!  I pushed myself SO hard but I have a long way to go.  The thoughts in my head still seem to be one of my biggest obstacles.  I should be simply proud of everything I am accomplishing.  Instead, I am still comparing myself to what others can do and how much stronger and mobile they are than I am.  But they are supportive and we are all on our own journey.  I have come so far already!!!

I AM proud of what I did today.  I worked hard, sweat hard, breathed hard and now I'm ready to drop hard!

We used medicine balls today (it weighed 20lbs), rubber band chariot races (see photo below of me pulling the trainer), ropes, bungees, jogging and then to cool down we had to walk around a giant pond which was over 1km in length (you can see a small part of it in a photo below).  Considering that just this past Sunday, only 3 days ago, I used my cane and struggled to walk 1km, I did AWESOME!  Tonight it took me a very long time to finish that 1km, I was exhausted and multiple joints were flaring, but I DID IT!  I did it without my cane and I did it after working out hard for 45 minutes prior.  I wore my Walk to Fight Arthritis shirt tonight for some extra mental strength.  I think it will be my new workout shirt to remind me of how far I have come.

I thought I was going to be sick to my stomach, pass out or stop breathing but I survived and lived to tell the tale.  Tomorrow is a new day and will be my first day on the meal plan.  I look forward to it because my options are amazing and the food sounds so yummy.  What I don't look forward to, is more torture tomorrow night at another training session (but you know I'll do it and push through it)!!!

For now, I will leave you with a couple of photos from today so that you can not only hear about my journey, but also watch it progress.

Take care, God bless and Goodnight!

Welcome to my RAWL Journey!!!

As I sit here contemplating how begin my very first blog, I figure I should start with the title "The RAWL Journey".  This stands for my "Rheumatoid Arthritis Weight Loss Journey". I have been overwhelmed by the amount of support I have received over the past week.  Because SO many of you have been so positive and supportive through my application to our local Biggest Loser Ottawa, I have decided to create a blog to document this journey for all of you (and myself).


Thank you to everyone who voted for me to help me get the program for free.  I financially cannot afford it but know that I need it.  I received 400 votes in just 4 days!!!  Unfortunately I did not get enough votes to win my position into the program.  HOWEVER, through the genergous heart of an anonymous donor, my ENTIRE program has been paid for in full!  I begin my journey tomorrow.


For those who are unaware, I have been battling Rheumatoid Arthritis for 3 years now.  I am 29 (soon to be 30 -- OUCH!) and have gained around 100 lbs since just before my diagnosis.  I have a long road ahead of me and many, many hurdles but with my army of supporters I know that I can overcome the obstacles that this disease throws in my way.


For the past three years I have fought hypothyroidism and rheumatoid arthritis.  It has been both a physical and mental struggle every single day and I do not expect this journey to be anything less.


My ultimate goal is to lose 150 lbs because my starting weight is around 300 lbs.  This is not something I easily disclose to you, so please try not to be too judgemental!


Rheumatoid Arthritis is a dibilitating autoimmune disease that attacks the healthy tissues in your joitns and around the vital organs in your body.  It can be fatal although that is extremely rare.  Currently I have failed several treatments (including multiple types of biologic injections) and am now on a chemotherapy medication called Rituxan.  It has been over 3 months since my infusions and it can take up to 4 months to work.  I am beginning to see improvement so I am going to run with that and tackle it with all I've got!


It is difficult when you are obese to lose weight.  I've heard it described by thyroid specialists as being most difficult to lose weight when you have hypothyroidism.  I beg to argue that last statement.  Having hypothyroidism is only the beginning for me.  What makes it hardest to lose the weight is having RA while tackling those first two issues.


One step at a time and with all of you by my side, the next 3 months will change my life and SAVE my life.  For that I am so blessed and cannot wait to share the ups and the downs of my journey with you. 

God bless!