We are now over 10 weeks into the Biggest Loser Ottawa 2 program. As we get closer to the end I stuggle to maintin the level of fitness and confidence that I have gained through the program. My rheumatoid arthritis has begun to flare as I am also nearing my next infusions. I cannot lift weights as heavy as I had worked up to and I feel like I am working backwards instead of forwards. I have done so well at conquering the voices in my head that tell me "I can't" and "I'll try" but now find they are returning. I am fighting to keep replacing them with "I will" and do so by reminding myself that nothing is impossible because "I'M POSSIBLE"! I WILL continue to push towards my goals and I WILL finish this with a bang. I refuse to let this disease beat me, I WILL win this battle!
On September 4th, about a week after the program is done, I will be getting my medication again. Yes, I am excited and thankful but I am also very nervous. Going for my medication is a very long, tedious process which is sometimes quite painful. Not only do they infuse the Rituxan, but I also must have a high dose of Predisone via IV immediately before it to help with the pain. I will also be given extra strength Advil, Gravol to ease the nausea and Benedryl to help fend off potential allergic reactions. They also have 9 other prescriptions standing by, ready to be filled on the spot if I have side effects that need to be managed in an emergency. During my first infusion it took 1.5 hours, 7 tries and a few tears to get the IV in. They had to stop my infusion twice: once to infuse Gravol to curb the severe nausea and the second time as an emergency to infuse Benedryl when my throat started to close during an allergic reation. Every time they stop the Rituxan my joints start to burn and ache. My first trip took over 6 hours and my second one was over 5. It's an all day event that requires someone to come with me, sit by my side while I sleep, monitor me if needed and drive me home after.
I do not go into my infusions without risk, but my alternative is worse and I am not willing to take that chance! Many people think it's crazy to need chemotherapy for RA, but it's very common in moderate and severe cases and I have failed the other drugs. What many people don't know is that RA can also affect the internal organs including the outer wall of the heart, muscle of the heart, the lungs, blood vessels, the spine, the eyes etc if it is not kept under control by medication. This medication is at least less frequent than some of the others but it is a rather high dose. Without this, my future would be very dim. When my disease is in a full flare I cannot brush my own hair or dress myself, I cannot roll over in bed or play wih my daughter.
One of the big reasons I look forward to getting my medication is because I'm looking forward to participating in Biggest Loser Ottawa 3!! Without my medication I would continue to go downhill and no longer be able to participate in the program. I will get the refill of my superpowers the week before the next Biggest Loser is set to start, so I will be ready to go full speed ahead into the next leg of my journey. I heard it called "getting our superpowers" once by an amazing mother and her very young daughter who both have RA (the daughter was diagnosed at 2 years old) and I believe it's a very fitting description! Even with the superowers full, I will still need your hep to participate! I will need all of you and everyone you know to vote for me once my video is posted. By doing so, I can win my spot into the program for free and as many of you may remember, I cannot afford the program on my own. It will be with your help that my journey will be able to continue!
As for the moment, I would like to fill you in on just how far I have come. Before this program started I weighed 306.6 lbs and as of yesterday I now weigh 272 lbs! That is a total loss of 34.6 lbs which is a whole 11.29% of my starting weight! All of your support is what has helped to keep me going regardless of how difficult this road has been for me. My journey is not over yet and I cannot wait to see how far this takes me! Having lost another 5 lbs this week (my largest drop since my second week) it has now bumped me into second place in the program and I plan to finish it with a BANG!
I will be sure to update you when it's time to start voting for Biggest Loser Ottawa 3...
