I've felt a little bit like I've been slacking off lately which is partly because I haven't updated my blog in a week, partly because I haven't been filling out my food journal and mostly because I've had the urge to snack. I had misplaced my food log but then when it was found, I just didn't seem to get back into keeping it up to date. Well tonight I got back into it which should help with the snacking too.
I have been feeling very big urges to snack this weekend and I was feeling very guilty because I gave in to some of it. The guilt about what I sack on now compared to what I used to are completely different and I needed to gain a new perspective on that. I feel guilty when I give in and snack just like I used to feel. The difference is that I used to feel guilty because I would eat a whole bag of chips when no one was looking! Now when I say that I feel guilty because I gave in, it's because I had something not specifically on my plan but that doesn't mean I had a chocolate bar. Instead of sweets, I gave in to an urge and had half of my daughter's peanut butter and jam sandwhich. But let's put that into perspetive why don't we? That sandwhich was made with whole wheat bread, homemade strawberry jam (a gift from a coworker) and the peanut butter was natural but sweetened with honey. That is such a long way from a bag of chips or a bowl of ice cream!
Some of my other "cheats" that made me feel super guilty were one of my daughter's cheddar cheese strings (I was really craving cheese), having fruit all by itself as a snack in the afternoon rather than coupled with protein, and half a dozen organic multi-grain crackers with hummus! I can't believe these items actually leave me feeling guily now considering I ate them in the past as something healthy. Regardless of how healthy these were and how infrequent they were, they left me feeling terrible about my weigh-in tonight.
For the past couple of days I've been feeling rather "blah" and I thought it was because I "over indulged". Yes, maybe I had a couple of things that weren't "on plan" or at the right time of the day, but they really were rather healthy. I really didn't eat bad enough to be feeling this way so what else could it possibly be that was making me feel so terrible mentally? I finally found the answer because I've noticed a pattern that I really do feel aweful every Tuesday. The amount of time between my workouts on Saturday mornings and my workouts on Tuesday nights is twice the length of time between any of my other workouts! By Tuesday morning I'm feeling lazy, larger and like I've failed when really I'm still right on track, just missing my workoutts. I never in a million years thought that I would ever MISS working out! Perhaps it's time to start considering adding in a workout of my own on Sundays...
Regardless of how much I was dreading the weigh-in tonight and thought that I had fallen off of the wagon, the scale tells the real story. I stepped onto the sale and I swear my eyes almost fell out of my head and I most definitely did the happy dance! I lost another 3.6 lbs this week to make for a total of 26.2 lbs in 6 weeks, which is 8.55% of my total starting weight!!!
Clearly my little urges were controlled by what I decided to cheat with. I made better choices than I ever would have in the past and still felt guilty. I won't allow myself to do it often, but now I know that I can trust myself to make good decisions. Little healthy alternatives can keep me going without going off track. It's all about how you look at it and thanks to the scale, I am more confident in my choices. I am now realizing how much my lifestyle has changed already and I'm able to look at things with a different perspective now. Don't get me wrong, I'm not immune to pizza or ice cream but it sure is easier to resist if I fill up on healthy food. I now weigh the guilt of eating those things I used to eat compared to the pleasure of eating them. It's just not worth the guilt considering how healthy things can conjure up enough guilt now on their own!
